"There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." - Luke 12:2-3
Why do we believe that we can hide from truth? It is easier to hide from reality than to confront it. There is something in all of our lives that we have said, done, or are doing that bring us great shame and embarrassment. We conceal our shame, hiding it from others and mostly from ourselves. God is a God of forgiveness. His grace is sufficient and trumps any kind of self loathing, doubt, or condemnation.
Ephesians 2:8 says, "God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this, it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. for we are God's masterpiece. He has created us a new in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things planned for us long ago."
There is nothing that we can say or do to earn God's love or his affection. God love for us is unconditional. When we wallow in our shame, hide it from other people and from ourselves we do two things. First, we are acknowledging that we don't understand the grace that God has given us by sending His Son Jesus to die for our sins and pay the price for us. Lastly, we don't give ourselves a chance to confront and conquer our shame/sin.
I have to admit. I am a recovering perfectionist. I placed such an unrealistic pressure on myself to never make a mistake. To be perfect and blameless in the sight of God and others so that people can look up to me and God can be pleased with me. As a result, my mistakes began to be done in the dark and I would hide my personal struggles from friends and loved ones. It is not God's will that we suffer alone. I quickly learned that what is done in the dark comes to the light eventually. I learned that the only things that exist and thrive in the dark are bondage. I was bound by my unconscious decision to attain my worth and self esteem in all the things I did right instead of how I conquered my wrongs. Whenever anyone would point out a mistake or something I did that offended them, my first response would be a defensive one. I so badly wanted to protect this image of the "perfect daughter, perfect sister, perfect wife," that I was missing out on how to enjoy the beauty of what makes relationships special...grace given for our imperfections.
Some of us are so blinded from lying to ourselves and to others that we don't even realize how long we have been wandering in the dark. We need to step out of denial. John 8:32 says, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." In Christ, we can be set free. Some of us don't have people that we can be ourselves with. We are afraid, that if the truth comes out we will be rejected and spurned by society, our friends, our family, or our spouses.
I asked myself, "What if my husband is not proud of me anymore?" Maybe you might ask, "What if my child does not look up to me anymore?" God is a God is second, third, and fourth chances. Nothing separates us from Him (Romans 8:35). Romans 8:28 says, " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." If you give your heart to Him, you must realize that God will work all things out for your good and that includes your shame. If your shame does cause people to view you differently, you must remember that once you give your life to God, it is not about pleasing people. Life is about being right with God. When you seek after righteousness, God will help you in your personal relationships. Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." If you dare to honor God, God will honor you.
Shame is a detractor of self worth. God wants you to know that your voice and presence are worth the world. You have every right to tell people how you feel and what you need. Individual growth does not happen without confrontation. You must confront, you must be open to the truth about others and mostly you must be open to the truth about yourself. If not, the dark will be your resting place. Dark places will develop and become a familiar way to cope. All the while, you will not grow, you will not change, and you will not move to become all that God has called you to be.
I
received Christ when I was nine years old, and it took me a long time to realize that I don't have to reach and become blameless and perfect to be looked up to and accepted. That mentality is dangerous. It could have hurt my future relationships, including my marriage. If I can't be myself to myself and to God then how did I expect to by myself to my husband? Especially when I demanded the same of him and he willingly gave it.
Do you know what the amazing part is? Everything is redeemable because Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. You don't have to be stuck with your sin in the dark. You can come to the light and receive love. You can have your slate wiped clean. You can receive all the blessings that this life has to offer. Just open your heart, open your mouth in prayer, receive Jesus as your savior, and confess to God and to whomever you have wronged while you were in bondage/darkness. God wants a new day with you. Each morning that you wake up, God kindly reminds you of new opportunities, and new chances when he makes the sun come up and a new day begins. You are never without options.
There are so many examples of men and women
publicly and privately who have
suffered with their shame in darkness, and without warning their shame was shouted from the roof tops. Think of politicians, sports figures, religious leaders, etc. Maybe you can make it more personal. Just think of someone you know that had to deal with public shame for something done in the dark. Look at your life, what is that thing that you can't seem to get rid of but that you know is wrong? That thing you have prayed to God about secretly but have
publicly denied having
affiliation with? Give it to God and be honest with yourself about your struggle.
I am not telling you to go tell everyone everything about your personal life. What I am saying is that God uses all things for the good and your personal struggle can be the key to freedom for someone else. If you dare to confront it, God can use it and you can walk away limitless, unstoppable and free to be your best self. As a result of facing my own shame and not striving for this unrealistic issue of perfection, I found that I am an even better daughter, sister, and wife. My husband said it best, to truly conquer situations you have to confront it. Trust God, you will be better for it.
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