Living with regret can be paralyzing. Each of us have something in our past or current lives that we aren't proud of. If it were possible to turn back the hands of time for a "do over," we would in a heart stroke. Unfortunately, we can't. Time is so precious and moments in our lives are short lived. The words you said and the actions that you made cannot be taken back but are encapsulated in a memory.
So how do we live with regret? What's the story? There is an answer to the anguish that regret can cause and ways to to find peace by allowing your regrets to become your greatest teaching tools. First, you must understand the power of the cross. God, in his infinite mercy and grace provided an open door of forgiveness when he gave his son Jesus Christ to die for our sins (John 3:16). When you understand how much God loves you despite who you are or what you have done living with regret becomes an option you can no longer choose.
Second, you must then forgive yourself and acknowledge what you did. Take ownership and remove justification. None of us are perfect, stop justifying your way into denial. If you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins and forgives you, how could you go on not forgiving yourself. His grace is not a respecter of persons. He does not forgive one willing heart and deny another. If you heart is open to his love and you change your way of thinking, forgiveness is yours. You must take ownership first by admitting your wrongs.
Third, allow time and your positive actions to open a pathway for others to begin to trust and forgive you again. Getting forgiveness from God is the easiest task because his love is agape - unconditional. Humans are not so easy. In most cases, you have to give people time, not to forget but to forgive. In the meantime, your focus should be on praying for healing for everyone involved and improving upon yourself.
Sometimes we can sit paralyzed and beat ourselves up by our past mistakes. Sadly, those who we have offended provide constant reminders of the horrible decisions we have made. Remember, our strength and hope does not come from man but it comes from God. In your weakness, God will step in and be your strength. In your hardship, God will take your vulnerability and turn it into growth if you let him (II Corinthians 12:7).
We do have an enemy out there who wants you to dwell in your hurt and regret. Satan does not want you to learn from anything, it is his hope that condemnation will keep you stationary. Romans 8:35 says, "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Nothing can separate you from his love. What the enemy meant for evil, God can turn it around for good (Romans 8:28). You can survive this and come out on the other side wiser and better than you were before your bad decision. Find a way to keep your head up. This is your life. You only live it once.
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